Renovating for Mom or Dad
It may seem like a no-brainer – Mom or Dad can move in with us! Before you make a commitment, take some time to think everything through – these tips should help:
Know Your Options
Care Needs:
Carefully assess your parents’ present and projected mobility, level of mental and physical independence; their need for assistive aids now and in future, and space for live-in caregivers now or in the future
Housing Needs:
Determine your parents’ level of desire to be totally independent versus wanting to share some space, time or meals with the family. Look critically at the size and layout of the available space, its proximity to doctors, clinics and other services, and their participation in their previous community and potential for involvement here.
Social Support:
Evaluate the amount of space your parents need to entertain their own friends; their need for transportation to errands; parking; access to transit and special needs such as smoking versus a non-smoking household
Choose Your Team
It is essential that all participants be onside:
your family and extended family’s commitment to the project; their support and active willingness to participate
- approval of the family doctor and specialists
- contacts in social services, community care and private care to help prepare for changes, provide support and activities such as day programs or friendly visiting
- an architect to design the space and a contractor to implement the construction
- information on vendors of special equipment such as stair lifters
- a sympathetic bank manager!
Do the Math
Costs can vary enormously in a project like this based on the design and scope. If, for example, a basement apartment is already in place, it may only require modification; the amortized cost of renovations plus monthly care costs were about same as a retirement home rental.
As with all major projects, obtain three written estimates, do your homework about zoning and building permits, expect slippage and have alternate plans in mind. Compare the costs of renovation, care and ongoing maintenance to alternatives such as home care, a retirement home or nursing home.
Write it Down
This step may seem tedious, but the effort will pay off in the long run:
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Research all bylaws, codes, permits, estimates, warranties and guarantees
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Document position descriptions and employment agreements for caregivers
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Clearly document the parent’s contribution to renovation costs and/or ownership of the property, especially when property is held jointly. Remember that this renovation will increase the property’s value.
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Provide your siblings with clear documentation of the costs incurred and your expectations for their support in terms of time and funds
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Make alternate plans in the event you or your spouse are relocated or decide to move
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Decide what your parents should contribute to ongoing maintenance
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Negotiate house rules when space is shared to cover smoking, noise, pets, entertaining
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Make sure there is an ‘escape clause’ if things just don’t work out, or in case of major life changes such as your divorce or the death of a parent’s spouse
Get it Done
It’s important to be very clear on ‘who does what’:
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your architect translates your vision into blueprints and secures all permits
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the contractor will manage all trades, schedules and costs and prevent overruns and delays
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relocation help is available from family or professionals to help downscale, sell, store and distribute possessions. Be sure to involve your parent in planning the move. Hire a reputable moving company to make the transfer as smooth as possible
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Alert the community to welcome your parent; neighbours, local community centre, church, your social support group and theirs, if possible
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Be realistic and honest in managing your family’s expectations, and keep the lines of communication open
Keep in Touch
Remember that your parent’s needs will change over time, especially due to illness or sudden changes in their health or the health of a spouse.
Be honest about care; if it becomes too heavy, maybe going to an accredited facility is best to provide what’s needed, rather than struggling at home. Be sure your parent has independent assessments at regular intervals, perhaps by a Community Care Access Centre (CCAC) caseworker (wwww.ccac-ont.ca) to notice what you might miss when you see them every day.
Enjoy!
Congratulations! You’ve done your homework and are ready to start. If you are lucky enough to still have them, enjoy every day you have with your parents, and good luck with your project!
Pat M. Irwin, BA, CSA